What is Naikan?
Naikan (内観, meaning “inner looking” or “introspection”) is a Japanese self-reflection practice developed in the 1940s by Yoshimoto Ishin, a devout Jōdo Shinshū Buddhist. It was originally intended as a spiritual and moral discipline for prisoners and followers, but it has since been adapted into a secular tool for personal growth, mental clarity, and emotional healing.
Naikan is a structured method of deep self-reflection, often centered on your relationships with others—especially those who’ve supported you throughout your life. It’s designed to shift your attention away from complaints and blame, and toward gratitude, responsibility, and understanding.
The Three Questions
Naikan centers around reflecting on a specific person in your life (mother, father, partner, teacher, etc.) and asking yourself these three questions:
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What have I received from this person?
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What have I given to this person?
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What troubles and difficulties have I caused this person?
Notice what’s missing:
It doesn’t ask what they did wrong or how they hurt you. The purpose isn’t to deny pain, but to refocus your attention on your role and the support you’ve received—which we often take for granted.
Purpose
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Promote gratitude and humility
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Reduce self-centered thinking
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Improve relationships by understanding your impact
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Recognize your dependency on others (in a positive sense)
It often leads people to realize how much they’ve received from others, how little they’ve given in comparison, and how much trouble they’ve unknowingly caused.
This insight tends to generate a mix of gratitude, remorse, and compassion—which can help dissolve resentment or entitlement.